Balancing work, life and self as an author

Yesterday I wrote about the warning signs and prevention of author burn-out. I mentioned that balance is the key.

Ironically, last night I received a motivational message from my friends John and Patrice at Higher Awareness, a site that I just love.

In their Inner Journey message, it talks about being open to change.

The following is printed here with their permission:

Be open to change

“Balance is a dynamic process; it changes with the days, the seasons, the years.” -- Sherrill Sellman

How rigid are your routines? Do you exercise for 30 minutes, three times each week no matter how you feel?

Routines and structure can provide a valuable framework to bring discipline to our lives. At the same time, we are always changing and it’s wise to be sensitive to our physical, emotional and mental states so we can ensure that our activities truly meet our needs. We need to be willing to change our patterns when our practices no longer serve us.

“Only in growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found.” -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“The smallest change in perspective can transform a life. What tiny attitude adjustment might turn your world around?” -- Oprah

The physical, emotional and mental realms are all effects! Shift into working with cause by developing your higher mind, heart and spirituality and then your lfe will significantly change for the better. Get in touch with your spiritual nature.

I agree that we should be sensitive to what our bodies need. If it is screaming for a break, take one. Not doing so will result in a longer recovery of energy. Life is always changing around us, so we must adapt and change with it.

Thank you to my friends John and Patrice Robson at Higher Awareness for allowing me to pass along this message.

I invite you to make one small change today. Sign up for these inspiring messages at: http://www.higherawareness.com/. John and Patrice have personal development plans that are encouraging, empowering and life changing, whether you're an author or not.

~Cheryl Kaye Tardif,

author of Whale Song

Warning signs and prevention of author burn-out

Writing can indeed become an obsession, as can promoting one's book. I always suggest to authors (and often remind myself) that we must find a balance between writing, promoting, other jobs/chores, family, friends and fun. Each needs to be a slice of the pie for authors to feel completely successful and not burnt out.

Over the years I've witnessed author burn-out many times. I've come very close myself a few times. I've known authors who have given up writing; some have continued to write but no longer do book signings. I've seen some who barely promote their books at all.

Why do they burn out? Usually because they put so much time, energy and money into writing and promoting their most recent book and have experienced little money, reward or feeling of success. Sometimes they burn out because they had no idea what they were getting into, that writing and promoting is a fulltime career. Being an author doesn't mean instant success; we have to work very hard for it.

All authors must be very wary of burn-out, and there are some warning signs:

1. Do you dread turning on your computer to write or even answer emails?
2. Do you make excuses not to write?
3. Do you make excuses not to blog, hold book signings, write articles etc that promotes your book?
4. When I say "book signing" do you immediately go into whine mode and say "aw, not again"?
5. Do you feel your days are spent on the computer, nights too?
6. Have you turned down an evening or afternoon out or even a few hours this week with a friend, husband, wife, child because you're "too busy"?
7. Have you watched the sun come up from your office window in the past month?
8. Does your agent, publisher, editor, husband, wife, friend, child irritate you?

If you've answered yes to 4 or less, you are doing well, right on track and coping with your obligations.

If you've answered yes to 5 or 6 of these questions, be on guard for burn-out. It is looming around the corner. Take a break now to prevent it.

If you've said yes to 7, you're at the verge of a burn-out melt-down. Time for a break. Take a day or two or 7 off now. Don't wait. Take a break now, or break down later.

If you've said yes to all 8, you are seriously burnt out and this makes you useless to everybody, so go take a 1 week holiday in Mexico or Bermuda and start fresh afterward! :)

Here are some tips to preventing burn-out:

1. Pace yourself! Set limits per day and goals. Prioritize and take each deadline one project at a time. Don't overbook or overcommit yourself.
2. Learn to say no. Learn to pick your projects; say no to ones with urgent deadlines if possible. Just say No.
3. Schedule your day each morning, allowing time to have a break. Have lunch while watching Days of Our Lives.
4. If feeling exhausted, take two days off and do nothing but watch soap operas or On Demand movies all day long.
5. When you have a good, well-balanced day of work and play, reward yourself that evening. Chocolate works well...or margaritas...or mohitos...

Read my post follow-up on balancing life and more.

Cheryl Kaye Tardif,
bestselling author of WHALE SONG

Take a solitary journey by looking back

Photo credit: Jessy Marie; used with permission

This is one of my daughter's first attempts a few years back at the art of photgraphy, and it happens to be one of my all-time favorites. This photo says something to me. It tells a story--one about a solitary journey.

Looking down these old wooden stairs makes me realize that some journeys follow a fairly straight path, but although the path is without detours, we must still use effort to climb each step to reach the top. We might skip up these stairs, or climb them slowly, carefully. We may or may not use the hand rail for support, but we know it's there. And many have gone before us and many will travel these worn stairs long after we're gone.

Life's journey is much like this. Sometimes we're given an obvious path to follow. We must reach up--higher!--to obtain our goals. To reach the top we must want to. So we push on. But many of us climb our stairs and never take a moment to pause, turn and reflect on just how far we've come. When we do this, we acknowledge our solitary journey.

I invite you to take a solitary journey and look back down these steps. What steps did you climb to get where you are today? Acknowledge each of them. These are your footprints, ones you left while climbing. Have you reached your destination? Are you at "the top"? Or are there more steps to climb? Focus only on the positive. Look how far you've come!

When I look at this photo, I envision that I'm standing a few steps from the top. There are still more steps for me to climb, and I'm so excited about where they'll take me. I wonder where I'll be next year...another step higher? Two? The suspense is killing me!

"I'm Sorry."

WARNING: The following post may reduce you to jello. This is a 2 tissue post.

Coming up on the 1 year anniversary of Whale Song's release, I find I'm feeling retrospective. Sometimes it's good to look back over the year, analyze what went well...what didn't. We all have regrets and sometimes they hang over us, a dark cloud in an otherwise endlessly blue sky. I have a few. But for the most part, everything I've experienced--even the traumatic events in my life like the death of my son and the murder of my brother--has made me who I am as a person...and as a writer.

They say: write what you know. I've always agreed, to some extent, and I've done exactly that. There are also times to write what you don't know, in which case, having good research instincts comes in handy. In Whale Song, I wrote about broken relationships and death--two things I know maybe far too much about.

Although I am writing mainly fiction now, I wrote a lot of poetry and song lyrics as a teen. Last year, while getting ready for the release of Whale Song, I was so inspired by the story that I wrote a song. My daughter Jessica also plays guitar and sings and she performed the following song at the book launch for Whale Song last April.

Sarah Richardson, the main character, has always been a reflection of me--the bullied child I once was, the awkward teen I grew into, and the once bitter adult who harbored resentment towards her father. But Sarah's journey and experiences are her own, and in her darkest moment, when she realizes a truth that changes her life forever, she is devastated. This is Sarah's song to her father--her words, her thoughts...her regrets.

I'm Sorry

I can't believe so much time has passed,

That you'll be with me once again, at last,

Through all the pain my life has been,

I'm sorry for not trusting you,

For pushing you so far away,

For all you did,

I hated you.

I didn’t understand what you were doing,

I thought your actions selfish and confusing,

If only I had really known,

The truth of all that happened,

I’d realize far sooner

That you loved me,

Really loved me.

I’m sorry,

So very sorry,

If I could take those hurtful words away, I would,

If I only knew,

What you'd put me through,

That it was for my own good.

I’m sorry,

So very sorry,

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would,

If you only knew,

I’d make the suffering mine,

But nothing can change time.

I realize you loved me more than ever,

A father’s love could never be more pure,

But, Daddy, I wish you’d stayed,

And never have gone away,

I needed my father,

I missed you,

I love you.

I’m sorry,

So very sorry,

If I could take those hurtful words away, I would,

If I only knew,

What you'd put me through,

That it was for my own good.

I’m sorry,

So very sorry,

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would,

If you only knew,

What I’d do for you,

I’d tell you this,

I’m…sorry.

©2007 Cheryl Kaye Tardif

Read an excerpt from Whale Song.

Pick up a copy of Whale Song from Amazon or your favorite bookstore or library.

I hope you enjoyed this post. And thank you all for making Whale Song the success that it is.

~Cheryl Kaye Tardif

Life without coffee...

Well, chalk this day to one of those days that I probably should have stayed in bed. You know, one of those days where things make you say #&*(% (and that's not "hmmmm!") Got out of bed (maybe that was my first mistake!) after a restless night of heartburn city. That's what you get for taking an Arthrotec pill before bed and washing it down with a sausage roll and ice tea. Well, it says to take with food! So I get up, take a rake through my hair and rip out half of it. Oh crap! No time for a shower this morning. Have to take Jessica to school. Thank God that's almost finished!!! After washing my hair down the drain (and probably clogging it) I head off to school. Of course that means taking the road that's still being worked on. (I think they started it back in...1862). Whew! I make it to school, drop off my daughter, who strangely enough is quite friendly and not in her usual PMS Barbie stage. On the way home, the gas vaporizes (I'm sure I had a quarter of a tank) and I head back home, thankful to be able to get some work done and enjoy my coffee. I call up a friend and talk to her about writing (is there anything else?) and go to top up my coffee...and lo and behold, it's cold. I mean, the entire pot is cold. But the lights are on!!! (Ok, no comment, people!) Let me clarify. The light on my coffee pot is on, which should mean the plate warmer is on. But the warmer is cold. So I go to heat up my mug in the microwave. Oh...did I mention that my microwave is broken? The darned thing won't "clear". That means that you have to use up all the minutes before setting it to a new time. So I used up someone else's 8 seconds and went 30 seconds more. Two hours later I decide to make a fresh pot. That's when I see it! There is still 2 cups of unboiled water left in the coffeepot. Two cups of coffee that should have been made. Ok, now what's going on here? I turn off the pot, turn it back on and...nothing. Oh my God! My life is nearly over and the past 36 years pass before my life! (Okay, 37!) So now I have a choice. I can continue to write the last few chapters of The River (which incidentally is getting really good...I wonder what'll happen next??) OR I can go buy a new coffee pot! Oh come on, people!!!! Is there really a choice! Of course I bought the new coffee pot! Because life without coffee is like...like... Death! ~ CKT