Character Interview: Inside the Mind of GOTH TOWN’s Founder, Lord Gothly
JGC: Why Christmaslessness around the whole world? Isn’t Goth Town enough?
LG: Ha-ha. Your thinking is so limited. What a lousy physicist you would have made! My grandfather’s vision was to not just stop pesky, debilitating emotions in one small place, but everywhere. You see, Goth Town was only the testing ground, so to speak. The world is suffering from omnipresent locusts. Oh, you cannot see them, dear fellow, but they are just as devouring. Tell me, would you stop global locusts in only one place?
If you were to stop all emotions, wouldn’t you stop all thinking, too? Memories?
Ha! Not so dull-witted as I expected! Of course, you boldly assume that thoughts and feelings are hopelessly tied together. How erroneous you are, dear fellow! Yes, thoughts breed emotions, but there are pure thoughts that have no emotions. No sappy, disabling memories … just those of truth and unequivocal existence. What bliss they are! They flow like the quiet symphony that accompanies the swift movements of logic. They walk like barefoot women through Times Square! Only 33 days left!
How do you plan to accomplish such a feat?
Again, such limited thinking! I would not expect someone like you to understand dark physics, especially one who thinks in such two-dimensional terms. Accomplish. Ha-ha!
How could the world exist without fond memories?
We define fond quite differently, let me assure you. Take this hideous, pitiable thing called Christmas, for example. Is it fond? Really? The primary components of Christmas are love and giving. Yuck! It turns my stomach to event think of such things! Do love and giving make the world a better place? Do they save the environment? Allow for interstellar travel? Do they keep one warm at night? No! I shall tell you what they do. They make the world stronger rather than weaker. One day the world will see that they have had it all quite reversed. They will thank me! To love someone is to erase his or her purpose and individuality. To give to them keeps them from fending for themselves. Do you not see? Christmas is really not good for the world. My grandfather believed it was the root of the failure of humanity.
GOTH TOWN has already sold over 100 copies, and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. How do you feel about that?
I am so tired of hearing about this book. I am positively sick with it! You see, this is the pathetic sentimentality that I am trying to save everyone from. Do you not see how pitifully absurd the notion is? As if a book is going to stop anything. A hundred you said? Ha! How many stars are there? How much dark energy can we siphon from a black hole? Take your books and burn them; perhaps they might warm a small group of Christmas urchins!
You seem very emotional. Isn’t that a contradiction?
You seem to have an extremely impoverished sense of time. You promised fifteen minutes. I have work to do. The Global Re-Constitution Device must be ready on Christmas morning. I bid thee adieu!
Jesse Giles Christiansen is an American author who writes compelling literary fiction that weaves the real with the surreal. He attended Florida State University where he received his B.A. in English literature. He is the author of Pelican Bay, an Amazon #1 list bestseller, outselling Old Man and the Sea by Hemingway. One of Christiansen's literary goals is to write at least fifty novels, and he always reminds himself of something that Ray Bradbury once said: "You fail only if you stop writing."
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