Dear thirteen-year-old
Cheryl,
This is one of the
toughest letters I have ever had to write, because I know that right now you
won't believe most of what I'm about to tell you. You're thirteen, and in your
mind life kind of sucks. You're not happy; you're miserable. You hate the town
you're living in. You hate being different, and in this town that means white
and a military brat. You hate school because that's where the bad things happen—the
bullying, teasing and embarrassment. You have nightmares of school, and I hate
to tell you this, but you'll have recurring nightmares about school for most of
your life. One day you'll laugh about that fact.
I know you're dealing
with self-esteem issues. You're not one of the popular crowd. You're not
considered one of the pretty girls. You're too shy, too introverted. The boys
aren't hovering around you, even when you have a secret crush on one. Trust me,
the one you think of most isn't for you—and his future self is not to be
admired. He turns into what you'll call a "real dick." There is
someone so much better waiting for you. And your life with him will be beyond wonderful. He will do anything
for you. He'll encourage you to follow your dreams, and he'll support you so
you can make that happen. One day, you'll see yourself as being very lucky.
I know you harbor
resentment towards your parents for what you view as their failings. You have
felt ignored, uncared for, bullied sometimes. You have felt unloved, especially
by your father. Trust me, this is your perception;
there's so much you don't know or understand. Yes, there have been times your
parents have failed you. But what parent hasn't done that at some point? You'll
understand when you're a parent. We sometimes fail our children. You will, at
times, fail your own daughter. However, there are amazing rewards in store for
you—including close relationships with both parents. One day you'll understand
why your parents are the way they are. You'll learn to understand, forgive and
let go. And once you do, you'll learn to value every moment with each of your
parents. They helped make you who you are and they helped prepare you for your
adult life.
Cheryl, there is no
one else on earth like you. When you look in the mirror, you see a redheaded
girl with freckles who is not very pretty and who is chubby. Believe me when I
tell you, you are beautiful inside and out, and you are not as "fat"
as you think you are. You may hold a few extra pounds—and you'll always battle
with this—but you won't let it hold you back from following your dreams. Others
will see you as beautiful, even if you don't. And when you graduate and you're
wearing a stunning emerald dress, you will be gorgeous. There is more to Cheryl
than the shell of your body.
You have always had
the power to inspire others. This has been one of your greatest gifts. At
thirteen, you are "Dear Abby" to many friends, helping them with
personal problems, even though you have your own. You are always generous this
way. You don't like to see anyone in pain, and you can always sense when
someone is hurting, even if they don't tell you. Your empathy will grow
stronger as you mature. Sometimes it will cause you pain, but most times it
will enable you to find the right words to help someone else. Trust that
instinct. Always. Words are your
greatest gift.
At thirteen, you live
a life of fear. You're afraid of some of your classmates. You've been taunted
and bullied and physically hurt by other girls. You're terrified of some of the
boys. You're afraid to tell anyone, afraid of what these bullies might do. You
don't understand this racial hatred around you, and you don't like how it makes
you hate others. I know you think this will never end, that you can't handle it
another day, that maybe you'd be better off dead. A part of me wishes you had
told an adult, but you didn't. You endured.
You've contemplated
suicide already—how sad for a young girl to have such thoughts. But I
understand. Life can be so very tough at times. Yet believe me when I tell you,
this shall pass. This will become a very brief part of your childhood, even
though now it seems like an eternity of misery. You just have to hold on for
one more day, then one more. When you're 50 years old and looking back at those
days, you'll understand how miserable those bullies were. You'll see that some
of them never went on to enjoy the happiness that you have. You'll pity them. You'll
forgive them because they did the only thing they knew how to do at that time—they
hated. You WILL survive this. And you'll help others survive this.
Believe me, I
understand what you're going through, and I promise you this: you will
survive, and you'll come out ahead of all adversities. And in doing so, you
will one day be able to achieve your greatest dream, to become a writer. And
not just any writer, but one that has the power to affect people emotionally.
Your thirteen years of life will be compiled in your first novel and you'll
draw upon all of your negative experiences, turning them into a radiant
positive one. And this novel, WHALE SONG, will be so powerful it will literally
change people's lives. Your words will mend relationships, bring people closer
together and will even save the life of one woman. How powerful is that?
One day in the future,
you'll realize you have changed so much that you've outgrown your shyness.
People who know you will laugh when you tell them you were once a shy
wallflower whom no one ever noticed. You'll find confidence and boldness, and
it'll feel like you've always had them. You'll never be able to pinpoint
exactly when things changed for you. Was it when you became the youngest salon
owner in BC? Was it when you got married? Was it when your first book was
published? Who knows. I don't.
Your future holds many
surprises. You will face challenges. You will make some bad choices. You will
witness death. And you will learn from it all. Your goal now is to make it
through the tough years. You can do it! You will
do it! You will learn from all your experiences, both negative and positive,
and each one will help mold you into the adult you become. When you're an
adult, you will know that your parents love you and are proud of you. In your
future, you are confident, always ready to help another and you educate
yourself continuously in your field. Your love of learning and courage in
experimenting makes you a very successful author. Yes, Cheryl. In your future,
your greatest wish comes true. You become a successful published author.
Your journey won't be
an easy one, and you will be tested.
You will come up against brick walls that seem impenetrable. You'll be told you
can't do it. You'll be told so many
negative things that you'll half-believe them. You'll feel like your dream will
never come true. You may think you can't
do it, and you may want to give up. But keep pushing on. You'll prove to
yourself and others that you can
achieve your dreams. You won't let anyone bully you. You'll prove them wrong.
The rewards are there, and they are countless and beautiful. You'll connect
with people who will stay in your life forever. And your writing will take you
on amazing journeys. You'll even become a publisher, helping other authors
achieve their dreams. How rewarding is that!
Thirteen…so young, so
lost, but with a future filled with happiness. Yes, there will be sadness too,
but that is life. Right now, your goal is to keep your integrity, stay hopeful
and persevere. Soon you'll be fourteen. Then fifteen, sixteen… One day you'll
be fifty, and you'll decide to write this letter to your thirteen-year-old self.
And you'll write all the above, remembering the negative with none of the pain
you once felt and knowing just how far you've come.
Shortly afterward,
you're going shoot for a major dream—to make the USA Today and New York Times
bestsellers lists with your thriller, SUBMERGED—and
you'll gather a "SUBMERGED
Army" to do it.
PS: You know that box of
Peanut Butter Captain Crunch that you and Cathy bought with your allowances
because neither of your parents would let you eat "junky cereal"?
Don't eat the whole box! You'll regret it!
With love,
Cheryl, your future
self
