EHM: Coventry Edition - the weeping moat gets rocked by the telebelt

On Day 17 of my Extreme Home Makeover: Coventry Edition, the empty "moat" around the basement walls of my new house is filled with rocks, after weeping tile is conveyed to the bottom by the telebelt.

No, a telebelt isn't some sort of covert teleportation device one might see on the Sci-Fi channel. It's a monstrous truck that shoots rocks down a conveyor belt. And contrary to its name, weeping tile isn't some kind of sappy, wet Italian marble tile but hard plastic piping with holes in it.

According to WiseGeek.com, "These porous pipes work with formations known as aggregates to allow collection of excess water from the surrounding ground, effectively eliminating an overabundance of groundwater in the area." In other words, it channels excess water to a sump or storm drain. Without this, your basement could flood, which I suspect would cause a lot of weeping.

Next, a backhoe will cover the rocks in the "moat" with dirt. This will allow me to walk around the outside of my basement without fearing I'll fall into a big hole, then drown because it starts raining and I can't get out--a recurrent nightmare I've had since I was a child. Seriously.

Yes, you can probably expect that I'll tackle that fear in one of my suspense thrillers.

And thus ends today's lesson in weeping moats and rocky telebelts.