Mystery, suspense, thrillers, paranormal, horror & YA by "Cheryl Kaye Tardif" & romance by "Cherish D'Angelo". Cheryl is represented by Trident Media Group in NY.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

100-word "elevator pitch" for my thriller The River

The Nahanni River in Canada's Northwest Territories has a history of mysterious deaths, strange disappearances and headless corpses. Seven years ago, Del Hawthorne’s father and three of his friends disappeared near the Nahanni and were presumed dead.

When one of the missing men stumbles onto the University grounds, alive but barely recognizable and aging before her eyes, Del is shocked. Especially when the man tells her something inconceivable. Her father is still alive! Now she and a group of near strangers embark on a perilous mission that involves stem cell research, painful serums, cloning and world domination―with a deadly twist.


WritingMajor said...


I hope you don't mind an off-topic comment, but I'd just like to ask if you would be interested in joining an advice community for writers on Livejournal. It would basically be a community for unpublished writers to ask questions about the industry, so that published writers like you could answer some hot topics. It's a blogging site, so it has a format similar to this one, but with more social networking abilities.

You wouldn't have to write constantly in it, but just when you feel that you have a bit of advice for aspiring writers that you'd like to share.

If you're interested in joining, please contact me on Livejournal. The link to my profile is (yes, I know my username is just lovely). Send me a private message if you're interested.

Kristen howe said...

Hey Cheryl. Thanks for the tips. I looked at your pitch and sort-of used it as a template. To avoid any email problems we've had in the past this summer, I did it here. If you want to try email, let me know via Twitter. Here's my pitch for Venom. Let me know if it works.

Key West Florida is a tropical paradise for tourists and Spring Breakers. But for Dr. Kylie Marx, who's there this summer at a symposium, it becomes a poacher's hunting ground. Someone wants to threaten her by killing endangered species and targeting her as their prey.

While she tries to determine who's targeting her and her friends, traces of Kylie's past surface from a 12-year-old nightmare in the Everglades, and becoming like deja vu. With help from her newfound friends and Dr. Aidan Rice, a fellow herpetologist from Australia, she discovers it hits close to home...

Cheryl Kaye Tardif, author & marketing coach said...

Hey Kristin,

Since emailing you doesn't seem to work, here's my reply...

First sentence should grab and hook the reader. Connect your first two sentences.

I would be tempted to go with something more like:

Key West, Florida, is a tropical paradise for tourists and Spring Breakers, but for Dr. Kylie Marx, who’s there for a summer symposium, Key West becomes a poacher's hunting ground.

With help from her newfound friends and Dr. Aidan Rice, a fellow herpetologist from Australia, Kylie is determined to discover who is butchering endangered animals. During the investigation, traces of her past resurface and a 12-year-old nightmare in the Everglades leads to a déjà vu experience.

When Kylie gets too close to the truth, she becomes the prey and what she uncovers hits closer to home than she ever expected.

Of course, this is just my opinion.


Kristen howe said...

Thanks for your help Cheryl. Now it looks ready for the conference. If only to finish Venom by 10/12, a month or so away...

Ginger B. (Barbara) Collins said...

Enjoyed your interview on Perpetual Prose and left a comment. Went to your site and read "The Car." Good stuff!

I'm a fiction writer on the other end of the country - Cape Breton Island off the mainland of Nova Scotia . . . in the land of Alistair McLeod, Lesley Choyce, and a batch of others. I think all those long, cold winters make for lots of productive writing time, eh?

I especially like your pro-active approach to marketing. It has obviously had a positive effect. Congrats.

Ginger B. Collins

Cheryl Kaye Tardif, author & marketing coach said...

Thanks, Ginger. I think every author needs to be pro-active in their marketing endeavors. It's just the way the book industry is, especially now. Authors can work more in partnership with their publishers.

I'm glad you enjoyed The Car. That was a weird night.

I haven't been to Cape Breton, but we lived in New Brunswick for 4 years and traveled to Nova Scotia and PEI. I hear Cape Breton is very beautiful.

It's always great to meet another Canadian author! :-)

Wishing you huge success! Thanks for stopping by my blog.