Mystery, suspense, thrillers, paranormal, horror & YA by "Cheryl Kaye Tardif" & romance by "Cherish D'Angelo". Cheryl is represented by Trident Media Group in NY.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Embrace grief and get through it

A new friend has a blog called By Grace of Mourning. It is devoted to helping people cope with death, loss and grief. In her February 4th post, titled The Importance of Embracing Grief, Corry writes:

"The truth is, we never ‘get over it.’ We do, however, with passage of time and conscious grief work, come to a place in our lives where we have our loss in perspective, and we can move into living life again instead of just going through the motions..."
My thoughts on her message:

Corry is right. Grieving parents never ever "get over it". But we do "get through it".

As a mother who has lost a newborn baby, I will never forget the pain I was engulfed in. Or the guilt. So much guilt that I almost choked on it some days.

I've learned so much since that terrible black day over 19 years ago. I learned that life does go on. With or without us. I learned that I had to choose to move forward with life--when I was ready. I learned that no other day will be as black as that single moment when my first child, my son, died on his way to a special children's hospital--without me.

A year later, I had to learn to trust that Fate would not be so cruel as to put me through the same misery. I delivered a healthy baby girl, who is now 18 and ready to start her own life. I've been blessed by her presence in my life.

My son's death has colored so much of what I've done, including my own writing. He is "in" everything I write, in one way or another. In my novel Whale Song, the prologue may seem like the reflections of Sarah, the main character, but in many ways, these are my feelings, and a glimpse into my heart...

"I once feared death.
It is said that death begins with the absence of life. And life begins when death is no longer feared. I have stared death in the face and survived. A survivor who has learned about unfailing love and forgiveness..."

For those who are suffering, grieving, mourning...

There is always light at the end of even the darkest tunnel. And with light comes hope.

Read Corry's entire post, The Importance of Embracing Grief

Cheryl Kaye Tardif

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