I want my shows back!!

This writers' strike is starting to weigh heavily on my mind--no, my sanity. I want my shows back. I NEED my shows back! Otherwise, I resort to watching stuff I don't usually bother with.

Like The Celebrity Apprentice.

Ok, I'm sure that there are some true blue Celebrity Apprentice fans out there...somewhere. But I just don't get what all the fuss is about. I've watched 2 episodes now...nothing else on to watch. I watched Gene Simmons get fired. I kind of liked him, but every time I heard him speak in his low, slow, monotone drone, I kept remembering that fried egg commercial. You know the one: "This is your brain...this is your brain on--"

Then I watched Jennie Finch, the Olympic champion of something, get fired. Poor girl never really had an opportunity to shine. And in between we get to see Piers Morgan (whom I quite like) and Stephen Baldwin (who gets on my nerves...give me one of his brothers any day) butt heads...over and over again. And Omarosa? Don't even get me started on her. What's she even doing on a "celebrity" show anyway. These other women--all of whom I truly respect--have been celebrities for years and worked hard for that title.

And then there's Donald Trump. I won't talk about his hair (although I was a stylist years ago and I'd like to get near him with some scissors) or the white circles around his eyes (I think he was in a tanning bed too long, and he should fire his makeup artist--my 17 year old daughter could do better at blending than that), but I will mention that he has treated these celebrities with immense respect and it's nice to see. I just wish he had treated the regular contestants in past seasons the same way. Yes, I have watched the show before...maybe 2 seasons.

Don't get me wrong--I respect Mr. Trump. Look at what he's achieved. He is obviously a brilliant man. And he does do a lot of good when it comes to the charities he helps. But sometimes I think he forgets that he is really no different from anyone else in the world. He's a human being like the rest of us. And we all measure success differently. The closest I've seen him come to acting like a regular person was tonight when he told Jennie that she didn't belong in his world and that it was a nasty place, or words to that effect. And he said he liked and respected her.

I think his daughter Ivanka is lovely and graceful, and she's a Trump, through and through. Stiff and serious. She could use a good laugh. I've rarely seen her smile. And hey, life is too short to not play, laugh and enjoy it. I'd like to send her a copy of Whale Song. Maybe she would get the message in it. Life is a journey and it's for the living. So enjoy life while you can.

In my opinion, the only saving grace with this show is that these contestants are competing for money for their favorite charities. I have no problem with that. I think it's an awesome, worthwhile venture. Perhaps The Celebrity Apprentice is just annoying me because I miss my weekly fix of Survivor. I'd like to boot Omarosa off the Apprentice island. And I miss CSI (the original!). Give me Grissom any day!

Or Piers Morgan. By the way, Piers, I loved the knight outfit, and I would have stopped and bought a ticket from you. And do you think you could contact your friend Sir Richard Branson for me? He's my MySpace friend, but he hasn't answered my email. I know an author he might like to back. ;-)

See? This is how I get without my weekly fix of all the great shows I enjoy. So writers...dear writers, can we please settle this strike?

And then please, please bring my shows back!!